我真的很累，一个18岁的孩子何出此言？你不懂我成绩不好样子普通 才18岁就出来这个社会打工，做的工比周围的朋友的工还难几倍。有些朋友都不用做工，伸手就可以了，可是我知道这样不行，我已经一无所有了，我想争取一些属于我的东西，事业。做工上遇到的问题我没有埋怨，我多次想要放弃，可是我已经一无所有，再放弃就什么也没了。我本可以不做的啊，在家每天吃饱就睡，睡饱就去和朋友走街啊 真不明白为什么我要委屈自己。多次想要自杀跳楼大哭任性的闹脾气，过后只敢想不敢做。因为怕死，怕痛，怕身边的朋友离开，我他妈的在干吗？我到底在做着什么？做的不是自己喜欢的东西，喜欢跳舞却想了好久到现在都不敢去报名 想找朋友去喝茶但一个两个都不得空 想染头发怕妈妈骂 想修眉却怕美容师修得太难看 想买衣却怕下个月吃面包 想去外国读书可是没钱 我他妈的在干什么？我一点也不快乐 我想为了快乐而活着 不是为了活着而活着

不是因为条件。还是有人喜欢你，你也活得比以前更好，不再那么任性，更像在投资的艺术品。

也不是因为对爱情死心。在KTV突然听到的某首歌，会让你不自禁模糊了视线。一些场景，一些气息，始终无法忘怀。朋友帮你介绍时，你也会满心期待。

却依然单身。闭上眼睛吹蜡烛的时候，总是希望身边有另一个人一起许愿。一些客气的场合，有人来搭讪，话题围绕着你单身的原因。而他们最后给出的结论是，你太挑了。你在心里面笑，所以其他人都不挑？

其实你自己知道，为什么不能好好谈一场恋爱。就是因为，你太清楚自己是怎样的一块料，所以不会再轻而易举把自己交出去。就像是，有一天你发现跌倒以后的伤口，会开始留下疤痕，于是走路时不敢再大步跨出去。

因为，你惯性太强、记性太好。认识一个人很简单，忘记一个人很困难。你曾经心满意足的闭上眼睛，让另一个人带你去任何地方，最后却差点回不来。所以不能再失去方向感。

于是你就变得胆小了。以前打电话找不到人就拼命的打，现在发了短信没回应，即使心中有波动也可以忍住。以前最有兴趣的话题是对方的过去，现在会先关心这份感情有没有未来。

所以，空暇的时候，你宁愿和朋友在烈日下逛街，也不愿让对方觉得自己很在乎什么。你安慰自己，有朋友就够了，一个人生活也很好。如果有一天当那个人出现时，你反而会开始慌张、害怕。

只是，你并不是一定要单身，就像你也没计划过一定用哪只手写字。不过是，既然如此了那就这样吧。你想要有人一起旅行，一起看电影。你想和那个人说自己准备好 了，只是没有勇气，请对方多一点耐心。你想说不再需要太多惊喜，在心里等的是一份相守以望的感情，抬起头来相视而笑，安心的生活，如此而已。

*Copy from cforum 

三年了，我做错很多，尤其是对你，我的任性，我的脾气，我的责怪，我到现在才明白其实很多时候我错怪了你，你去新加坡做工要赚更多的钱我却说你忽略父母，其实你只是想给父母一个更好的生活，你也说要为我们的未来做好打算，我知道你只是在讲讲，因为我知道你心里的不是我，未来那个陪你走下去的也不会是我，你也做错很多，我有时生气了很久我也没和你说，因为确实是自己想太多了。我一直不信任你，还做了试探你的事情，对不起，爱一个人就是要信任他，我却没有做到 让你生气了。谢谢你在这3年带给我的快乐和泪水，可能你不知道 ，我有你的时候真的开心到不像自己，因为我很以你为荣，我很为你感到骄傲，不管是你带给我的伤心事，我也选择放下了，在未来的日子里，我只想好好过生活，没有你的生活，我已经放下了，希望你也可以早点放下，或许你从来都没有爱过我，也谢谢你曾经那么疼我，即使你不是在疼我，我也感觉到那份关心。不要再见了，往后的日子我们要好好过，我祝你锦绣前程，早日找到一个可以陪你走下去的人。

July post,brand new month

It's been more than half year since my last post leh. Can't you feel im that busy..almost have no time to sleep already..addmath project,tuition,school,events,gathering,outing..just finished my addmath project already only have some time for this post. i really wanna study hard for coming trial,but when i got home, when i wanna start my homework or what else,my sleepy eyes will automatically switch on,then i will nap until tuition or dinner,at night watch tv awhile and do some stuff then its time to sleep already,so i really dont have time for books.......feel so guilty. Last last week i was so happy until i kissed JY in class hahahahaa when i got my midyear exam addmath paper passed! HARD WORK REALLY PAID OFF ! coz that time i really do alot of revision of addmath (nt really much),plus a little of luck..but now i've become more lazy,but never give up! Next week will really be a busy week again,monday got pameran day,tuesday go PWTC Taiwan education fair,friday go penang trip with classmates(3 days 2 nights) i'm really excited abt it,hope our plan don't suddenly cancel,after coming back from Penang,hope i will really concentrate on studies.Lets talk a little about my Bangkok trip on midyear holiday,its fun..coz is a family trip..but my body is nt doing well during the trip,anyway it's over, looking forward to the third time go Bkk. I'm lovin my life so much coz i will never be boring since so many things waiting me to discover. Feel so appreciate,no lie.. =D

My recently favourite song
Best Day Of My Life - American Authors

The beautiful December

Hi,just discovered a new song ,by Hebe,sing deeply to my heart,seriously like the way she style herself in the MV! I like to song too! The lyrics ,the MV and the music.

I have to admit that I'm lil nervous about sch reopen,stressful enough about SPM,I hope I can handle well the three main science subjects next year.

And my parents is too busy,can't always accompany us,always make me feel like orphan(too guilty to say like this),so I only can plan my holiday activity with friends.

Christmas is coming,alot of friends count on me to go for countdown,but I just want to stay alone.

Add oil and all the best kah hui,you will always be the best.

I can said I'm afraid of the night,coz I used to have a person to acc me chit chatting along the night,although what he said is just some rubbish stuff,now he is gone,gone from my life,but still running in my memory ,my heart dies a little when I hear your name. Last Tuesday met you at somewhere, that turning back scene was unforgettable ,I tot I'm the only girl u will care for,but then I prove myself wrong.i tot I'm that strong and tough,I don't know why,who am I that sitting there crying alone along the afternoon ,that's not me,I'm just too emotional,I knew that sunlight will lead me back to where I were. But then I have took you as a part of my life ,as my family,as my soul,I know that I'm childish to say this way,you couldn't understand me if you judging me at your angle.what I can do now is to put down everything,I know sometimes I might be a little emotional ,might be texting you again,begging for a chance,that's stupid,coz every time I also play a role that cares too much and you just find me whenever you want,I'm totally upset to my life,that I have met someone like you,but I couldn't deny my feeling on you,that's love I know,although you are a bad person with a bad attitude in my mind,but I love you. I don't mind spending all my time with you coz you are irreplaceable,if one sorry could lead us back,I would apologize for what I've done,but now apologize couldn't solve our problems,sometimes I just don't understand why do God plan this arrangement,to give me hope and break it silently ,make me suffer,make me stand up agn then broke me down again and again,I hate the way I love you,it's scary,the way I envy,I stalked everyone around you,then I make myself sad whole day along,what I do,where I go,remind me of you,I hate that you are the shadow of me,I knew I cared too much,and you're like you don't care, I knew all of this,I'm trying to put some effort on other people and this doesn't work,I did everything that I never did before to forget you,it's hard. To say I'm a person who greedy,if you miss me,come and find me and we will start all this again.if you're not willing I understand,to wish u a happy life with your next partner and do take care,I will always here my love

well i hate when i have to do this important decision.okay..i just have to give up on this for a temporarily time ok? after next year or after SPM i can continue it right ? i wanted to be dancer so badly TT have to train hardly since i'm not very okay with it..also duno have competition on december anot since i already quit now :'( pls wait me!! i promise i will go back! ;)) all i have to do now is enjoy myself in this pretty awesome holiday. oh one more ! handsome uncle i hope i can attend your wedding on Dec! coz i have been waiting u to marry since i was small :) not only me but the whole family! we're not giving u pressure la haha just do whatever u want kay? we will respect every decision you made..hope u will have a happiness family with ur girlfriend,feeling blessed :) actually feel so boring in this holiday,lifeless. i miss the retard that will talk stupid things and do funny things with me although everytime i will still get mad with you :(((((((( i miss u so badly even though u hate me alot :( i hope we will still be classmate next year hehe...

趁还年轻，我不将就。

I hate celebrate birthday not because of what
Coz every year also no ppl want to celebrate with me
I hate celebrate birthday
I wish I could just skip my birthday
Why treat me so bad???
Ah shouldn't complain
Just saying
Ok mood drop to zero

August moment

'hi how it's going'

this sentence just fking piss me off today

prepared everything ,in the best condition,best situation,best mood

but...that retarded mok didn't cooperate well,keep playing fool

damn! just spoiled my plan!

afterwards,the teacher said we(3 groups) have to do it again after whole class has done

coz we didn't prepared our text well

i was like what the hell

THIS IS TOO UNFAIR !!!!!!!

i almost can scream at there!!!!!

damn teacher you lost my respect

i hate you so much.

anyway,practice makes perfect,i will try to calm myself down.

#happyKRIStalday

happy birthday oooo crystal foong kay ern

love you so much my love !!

really appreciate our friendship in these two years

hope you like the cake and my present :)

everytime update blog sure got some point 1...

like this time i wanna share abt my feeling..

just want to share about my life

i really appreciate my life

bcs i don't need to worry about money,shelter,food and education

and i really have a really awesome and great parents

they love me so much

whataver mistake i've done,they will always forgive

and they will always love me

my daddy always said im his princess

and i love my mom the most

whoever try to hurt her,i will never let them go

just like 'her'

i will find a chance to revenge

but my revenge type is mentally not physically HAHA

my parents always give me what i want

say one sentence very lansi one

'there's nothing i can't get.'

so i have everything i want since i'm also a grateful person

and i have a bunch of friends that can always rely on them

so i have nothing to complain anymore :)

好心有好日-白龙王座右铭 :)

i don't know how to speak out my feeling to you.

i really like you a little too much.

i hope you will listen to the song coz it mean what i want to say to you.

hello lovely holiday

this term exam got two subjects failed again omg

physics ,i really want to win you next time although i have failed you two times !

keep tellin myself its alright

fall down must know how to wake up..

sucess is not main point,but hardworking is

^____________________^

next time sure will b a rainbow for me...

oi holiday start le eh hahahhaha

this week mommy say must finish my all work :<

because..

next thursday go penang !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hahahahhaha so happy

the main point is my parents didn't follow !!!

only me and sister go!!! ahhahaa

i like the girl 离家出走

hahahah 背包旅行？

oh go there must meet my cousin ^^

omg such a long time didn't see them already :<

ladies night ? hahahaha

must enjoy my trip this time :b

must play crazily coz without parents omg so happy

btw must finish my homework first

although only two books,but copy so many,dumb la teacher -.-

after my hair cut short omg looks so ugly

sometimes like siao po

don't know whether should i cut my front fringe anot

everytime cut fringe sure regret

below photo is just now hair very straight and smooth ~.~

i think i'm ugly

and nobody wants to love me

just like her i wanna be pretty

i wanna be pretty

don't lie to my face

tellin' me i'm pretty

-2NE1

FOREVER 16 ♥

FINALLY EXAM IS OVER !!

three weeks of exam is suffer okkkk

I love the moment when today i just finished my math paper 1

so relax !!

because i deserve it hehehe

I WANT GO SHOPPING I WAN GO PLAY I WAN GO ENJOY MY YOUNG  

You,don't be upset when results come out ok ?

because i know you have tried your best ^_^

sincerely,me. hehe

always have love my job as a science student

now i just realize i love science stream..

gonna be a better science stream student ^_^

mama please be patient to see me success...and daddy too..

I promise won't let you dissapointed..

during exam,keep study group with classmates..

although i know i'm the noisest one hahaha

but thanks for teaching me what i don't understand,classmates :)

4A10,i hope i will keep loving you !!^^

sincerely i always thanks for people who always cheer me up when im upset..

''Run while you still can''

Here's some photos for my recently life,enjoy it ^^

#WhatsPubertyDidToMe ^_^

''You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.'' 

-Vernyckh

HELLO MAY ♡

It's still in a exam month,i have already go through one week of exams,yay or nay ?

alright,its a public holiday at monday for everyone i guess so.

no mather DAP or BN will win.

Nothing to talk with this ,because im really speechless with BN dog's action :)

alright,DAP ,hope you will win this time,its the time to #UBAH for a better future for M'sia

long time no tutti frutti.

exams keep study group with classmates only,no time for those desserts and my lovely tutti,well.

i really did appreciate for the babi gang hehehe.

Thanks for everything although we have a ''gor gor'' in our group. HAHAHAHA

Just want to do well in this time exam,because everytime i saw your picture i have motivation

You know why ? beacuse your face made me hate you lil girl.

We are stranger at the first,but he did make you my enemy,blame him.

after exam i won't hate you la. until next time exam la .HAHA

this week my sleep time very short already ,just because to wake up very early .

I HATE THIS FEELING YOU KNOW,K.

next week will b more and more subjects comin..

two more weeks...

add oil every candidates :)

There ain't so much for me anymore,so i stop caring for him anymore

A new breath taking...yay

i don't hope you will regret of losing me

because i want everyone in this world be happy hehehee.

just continue to live your life ok?

since you stop caring anymore,

i left your world lah,bye

See my stressed face for this time mid year exam.

很多东西都无法再回头了，人总是要往前看才会找到个属于自己的天空。

That's why you go away

Baby won't you tell me why there is sadness in your eyes
I don't wanna say goodbye to you
Love is one big illusion I should try to forget
but there is something left in my head 

You're the one who set it up now you're the one to make it stop
I'm the one who's feeling lost right now
Now you want me to forget every little thing you said
but there is something left in my head 

I won't forget the way you're kissing
The feeling's so strong were lasting for so long
But I'm not the man your heart is missing
That's why you go away I know 

You were never satisfied no matter how I tried
Now you wanna say goodbye to me
Love is one big illusion I should try to forget
but there is something left in my head 

Sitting here all alone in the middle of nowhere
Don't know which way to go
There ain't so much to say now between us
There ain't so much for you
There ain't so much for me anymore 

STEADY LAH !

''They said laughter is the best medicine''

HELLO!!! long time no update a

last week holiday just came back from Bangkok,omg the beautiful country :)

See Bangkok from my flight :)

 My first day dinner !! awesomeness overload !

omg i miss this ice blended !! so sweet and healthy !!

From Platinum Mall :)

Desserts? :D

Kinda regret -.- picture below was a fashion show,

i was able to take photo with a super duper handsome celebrity actually,

but because of my stupidness and slow motion,

end up with no photo was taken,grrrr.

Third day dinner at Central Mall :)

Mommy's :)

 This is mine!! some fresh vegetables and prawn shrink !

and the sambal only can use one word to describe,awesome!

and you see the egg,color so nice,i don't know their chef use how many minutes to boil it.

Forever 21,my favorite :)

Last night at Bangkok

Me and Mommy

This starbucks made me remind of the barista's kindness,

tthis cup of hot chocolate was free for me!

because they asked me rate for them on internet,so i did 

and they free me a starbucks.

HER SMILE HER CUTENESS ALL I CAN'T FORGOT.

They said see me next time,i wonder when i will come again :(

all i want to say,thankyou :)

 Back M'sia,my airplane so cute wow.

i reached M'sia only saw my airplane so cute HAHAHA

I LOVE BANGKOK ! 

I WILL COME BACK AGAIN !!

Hi,back to normal life again. HAHA SIEN.

But this Sunday is my dearest coming to KL!!

My Astro Music Awards :DDD

omg i am going with all his fans called 威儿帮 :)

i just join their club last week

and my ticket is rock zone 1 !!!

i can't stop exciting for it

extreme excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and Saturday gonna bring Kiwii visit KL(actually go have a teatime only) HAHA

Her first time come KL mayb ? i don't know haha

Sunday gonna rock with them !!

A little big kid i truely love

Time for Tosh!!!

Can't resist his cuteness.

#ABTM Sergeant Ong !!

I have a lot of his photo in my phone,if i upload all,i scared you all block me HAHAHA

From long hair to short hair lol

i cut my hair i can't believe it

new hair new life ! 

Yesterday brother meeting at tutti frutti again. HAHAHA

 Tutti frutti for life .

You are what you eat?

Then you probably eat shits :)

''All i need is all i got.''

Hello Mr Stranger.

How are you? Yesterday i saw you pass by,

but i just watch you silently,

how good if everyday i also can watch you like this :)

sometimes you will say you miss me,

but i know you love her,

i know you won't be with me anymore,

hope she is happy with your love,

Remember must stay happily.

''It's only a bad day ,not a bad life ! ''

LOVE,

ORIGINALVERNY

catch my breath

thursday rock

yay

this saturday got school but im not going hahaha lazyness overload again

too lazy,result also like shit

oh i just knew my result

i get number last in my class

coz i have two failed

that's physics and biology

zzz sien right ?

hate physics so damn much

fuck you all formulae

ain't nobody got time for that 

now change my tuition to kasturi edy

finally have more time to rest already

holiday coming

planning class trips nowadays

yay mid valley and zoo

mayb you all will b like what ? go zoo? wtf?

but don't you think that zoo is so fun ?

hahaha childhood rewind 

this sat night got dinner at choongwen..

go with family and cousin yay

next monday go back Cambridge take my certificate yay

my activities arranged fully

so anyone plan to book me on holiday?

faster a hahahahahhahha

she next week go bangkok :(

gonna miss you mommy :(

i only wish everything in my life now can stay longer..

let me acc u longer..

i hope i can treat u better silently..

so time stop now.... hehehe

aaaaaaaaaaaa!!! see who is this ???

Bernard 邱文博!!!!

so effing handsome my god 

does he looks like Wilber ?

yes everybody said that :D

He is Wilber 干弟 :)

looks so alike right?!

this pic is about two years ago 

craving for my astro awards T_T

hope they faster announce Wilber got come m'sia :(

i'm waiting all the time.. :(

the two girls i really appreciate

love them,my mental retarded brothers

the world that not belong to me

exam is over

maybe we should call it a test

but i suffer like hell

wtf,exam just over

need to tuition again

lifeless

should think carefully about future

i don't want to make a wrong choice...

now i think is still never too late to change my choice

but i don't know how to do right now..

lost direction..........

can anyone else worry about me...

i'm very tired right now..

my heart..my condition..

who else can understand me ?

nobody!!!!!!!!!!!!!

you all will never understand..

that two years was like a nightmare to me..

now happened again?

where's my world??

this world is not belong to mine..不属于我的世界...

i wanna cry...no one understand me.....

i just hope i can sleep and suddenly dead of sleeping...

i know future very bright very nice..

but i scared i'm not enough brave to go through this tough pathway..........

no mather what happened,also must smile....

i'm choo kah hui........

be tough..

i will be alright...

一个人要多少勇气才能把黑色的天空看成蓝色

moving foward all the time

T.G.I.F

thursday,i sleep late for my school

but i'm still rushing and go to school

can you just imagine how good i am as a student ? ...

feel regret when i go to school that day

i should just continue sleep at home

then thursday won't happened so many unlucky thing to me

heart are desperating all the time that day

but luckily i'm still smiling

sigh..next week my exam week

i confirm i sure got subject will fail..guarantee...

biology ? pysics ? chemistry?

need to memorise so many thing

brain burst

i what also no read

sit here pray to God and hope won't fail hahaha

add math and math

i'm seriously dying

sejarah exam got essay ?

GOOD! I WHAT ALSO DON'T KNOW THANKS.

but as a science student

also can't too lazy

i choose my future ,must responsible for it

so tmr and sunday no time to rest

all time for tuition

hope my suddenly revision attack will help me abit

won't get too bad result ok? :(

MY SORE THROAT AH~~~

already few days already

now throat very dry aaaa

sometime feel very sad and desperate when keep ignored by classmates or friends

when unlucky thing happened on me

luckily i'm tough if not i suicide already

but lucky thing and happy thing always happened on unexpexted time

kindly thanks God what i have right now and when miracles happened on me aw~

and specially thanks to my mental bestie and dearest family

my most support all the time

smile!!!!!

you will not care for me anymore,yet i'm still waiting miracle at here...

虽然我走得慢，但我从来不后退。

DesaPark City

hi,today went cousie house

i'm tired,let the photo speak

 ice-cream fondue 

 and steamboat but i didn't capture

it's yummy !

 my aunt and her cute young daughter

see the pie so cute ♥ 

and then we go desa park city

had been a long time didn't go there

there is a place to relax

got people jogging there,feeding fish

and bring their dogs there too

and got playground,many of children there

got many restaurants,coffee shop

a peaceful garden

i help the other cousie aunt capture de.

karhei ♥ 

the peaceful Desa Park City :)

ok,i stop here,i wanna sleep dy ..

love and you shall be loved.